My world. run while you can.

Im still Home Alone...
i was reading beckys blog... she listed all the bad things... i think ill list mine.
ok, when i was 8, my mum got married, and moved to the country side, with me.
the thing she got married to was a bastard. his name was simon.
6 years of argueing, and we reach 2006, november. its warm for winter. im isalated in the country.
i Hate simon.
he was always mean to me.
the, on a sunday, its 6 am. i hear screaming. i hear my mum say 'no simon please, stop it'. my heart pounding, anger exploding in my hear i rench myslf from bed, imediatly awake.
i think hes hurting her. im ready, to hurt to kill, anything to protect my mum. hes not hurting her. he is grabbing everything of mine, and hers, he can find and throwing them out windows, and the front door, onto the driveway. he wants us out Now. i scream, i cry, i run out, grab my mums clothes, i pull them inside. i hold my mum, shes crying, screaming at him to Stop.
he goes upstairs. i follow. he goes into his and mums room. i run in, and slam the door. me and him. then im hitting him and kicking him. i screaming. but hes stronger. and just carries on.
hes trying to throw things out the window, but it wont open. he heads for the door. i get there first. i leaning against it. he wont get out. i can hear my mum, shouting for me to open the door. i cant let him out. i dont care if i die holding this door. he wont get to my mum. ever. the next thing i know, im on the floor, the doors open. hes trying to get things out the window. i crying, im shaking. he stops. he gets in the car. he rings everyone he knows, telling them my mums a stupid lying cow. i want to kill him. i pick up our things, from the front, mum gets the stuff out the back.
the next two weeks, are hell. he does everything to make our lives hell. he threatens to throw my chinchilla, marzipan out. i scream at him. telling him i hate him.

that changed everything. those few weeks.. i hate life, i hate myself. i want to die. but most of all, i want simon to stop seeing my mum. thats right, she has agreed to see him. and that makes me feel worse. everyday.
im crying. its like a fresh wound still, i try to put it from my mind, but i dream about it every night, its more of a nightmare really.
im going to go now. Becky if you read this.. well.
Bye x