heya David!!
again, its been a while...
i told matty how i feel... felt.... but, he just wants to be friends... thats cool.. i think i was just pretending, y'know? for the sake of Bex, and The Plan
i made up with lucy now... feels weird... lol!!
i was having a 'fight' with lucy on bebo... i just deleted the picture... its just causing upset.. but she said i wrote stuff bout her family.. i think shes read this. i did say i hate simon.. we i do. but i dunno.. i regretted what i wrote, even the killing thing, that was just a depression thing.. a spur of the moment life isnt worth living thing.. i have tried to delete them, but i dont think i can. i didnt even remember writing that y'know...
i just bury and hide all the bad things away. im moving on in life.
Sam asked me to marry him. i pointed out the legal ramifications, so, he asked me out instead. he says he loves me. i told him id think about it. i think i should give him a chance. maybe, even if its a small one.
i play sudoku alot now... im gonna go on it, once ive finished this..
and guess what??
i wrote a happy song. about my friends. i called it *my glory Daiis*
its not about love, hate or death. its a good song. it felt nice to write it.
i found my auntie, and more relatives from island on bebo.. i found::
fionnagh cuz
maria auntie
michelle cuz
gav cuz
kim cuz
manny cuz in law married to fionnagh
and sum wicked pictures of hana, robyn, rayna, and aaron!!
i think im emptying the hate out of me... i realise, i have so many people to help me, that when i fall, ppl are there to hold my hand, and lift me up, and carry me for a while.
i think im gonna say yes to sam... hes a great guy.. im starting again. with my mum, my house, and my friends, my brothers and sister!!
im going to try delete the nasty things i said. for lucy, and hilary and chris's sake. but i just dont think im a part of their family anymore... but, i have my own family, so im ok.
ill miss them.. ill still see them, ofcorse!!! but.. maybe not as much?
and i think, although simon was extremely horrible, and nasty to me, and my mum, and still can be, i dont think i hate him. i still dont want to be near him. but, maybe its not as extreme.
i gotta go.. sudoku awaits!!!
Bye david
xXx
Sunday 3 June 2007
Tuesday 22 May 2007
Its Been A While..
Hey David..
hey look, sam is online.. and before u ask ( i know you cant!!) im over him.. i had this fling thing goin on with tom, and again today.. he kept trying to touch me up, so i left....
but, i dunno.. i nearly kissed him.. but the last time i started to like him.. well.. he turned me down, and well.. that upset me alot..
so.
wel..
im kinda bored... i know i dont want to get into any kind of realationship with tom, but i wish hed go online, so i can talk to him...
well.. he is stil not online, but im not going to let this bother me.. im gonna focus on school... getting a decent date for the prom.. that kinda stuff..
I went with Kaz and kim, to help kyle, (kazs' boyfriend) with confidence... he is singing, for the year 11 Final assembly.... and he is an amazing singer... i mean it.. but he just cant see it.. he is sooo sweet... i think i MIGHT have the smallest of crushes on him, but i doubt it.. he is just sooooooooo sensitive!! he has to sing with his eyes closed, that is how nervous he is, and he is shaking all the time.. but mr jay is going to help him, and to overcome his fear... and
MY GOD KYLE IS FIT!! and cute!!!!
but, he is out of bounds... kazs' boyfriend for gods sake!!!
oh, the joy.. Pablo thinks i fancy him... guh-reat.. i wanted to tell him something.. i wanted to tell him, that we shouldnt be friends, until the whole chelsea thing is done, cuz well... she is SUCH A SLAG!!
i hate her, mega hate.. she has put him thru sooo much!!
jamie has decided to give up on her, though he still loves her.. he said that with all the rest..
he went up to her today and said !to her face!
"I'm Not like other guys, I don't Wank.."
Can u believe him??
im suprised she didnt just piss herself laughing!!
poor pablo!!
well.... he chose this...
but im not one to judge!! hehe!!
hehe... now sam thinks i like him, and tom went online, lolgasm.. that is totally my new word!! oh, and "well thats just rude" or "ur nasty!!"
hehe.. i love being me!!
lol!
i think im gonna go now...
might write later!!
love ya david!!
XXXHANAXXX
hey look, sam is online.. and before u ask ( i know you cant!!) im over him.. i had this fling thing goin on with tom, and again today.. he kept trying to touch me up, so i left....
but, i dunno.. i nearly kissed him.. but the last time i started to like him.. well.. he turned me down, and well.. that upset me alot..
so.
wel..
im kinda bored... i know i dont want to get into any kind of realationship with tom, but i wish hed go online, so i can talk to him...
well.. he is stil not online, but im not going to let this bother me.. im gonna focus on school... getting a decent date for the prom.. that kinda stuff..
I went with Kaz and kim, to help kyle, (kazs' boyfriend) with confidence... he is singing, for the year 11 Final assembly.... and he is an amazing singer... i mean it.. but he just cant see it.. he is sooo sweet... i think i MIGHT have the smallest of crushes on him, but i doubt it.. he is just sooooooooo sensitive!! he has to sing with his eyes closed, that is how nervous he is, and he is shaking all the time.. but mr jay is going to help him, and to overcome his fear... and
MY GOD KYLE IS FIT!! and cute!!!!
but, he is out of bounds... kazs' boyfriend for gods sake!!!
oh, the joy.. Pablo thinks i fancy him... guh-reat.. i wanted to tell him something.. i wanted to tell him, that we shouldnt be friends, until the whole chelsea thing is done, cuz well... she is SUCH A SLAG!!
i hate her, mega hate.. she has put him thru sooo much!!
jamie has decided to give up on her, though he still loves her.. he said that with all the rest..
he went up to her today and said !to her face!
"I'm Not like other guys, I don't Wank.."
Can u believe him??
im suprised she didnt just piss herself laughing!!
poor pablo!!
well.... he chose this...
but im not one to judge!! hehe!!
hehe... now sam thinks i like him, and tom went online, lolgasm.. that is totally my new word!! oh, and "well thats just rude" or "ur nasty!!"
hehe.. i love being me!!
lol!
i think im gonna go now...
might write later!!
love ya david!!
XXXHANAXXX
Tuesday 8 May 2007
No.
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
He Said No.
im crying. i cant help it. even though i said he was gonna say no... i thought.... he says he likes someone else. i hate myself so much. for dumping him the first time... i had my chance. i should have known.......
My hearts breaking....
you did not just saii those words too me,
please, lets go back iiin tiiime,
to when yhoo loved mee
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
My hearts broken
so many tears shed
i want this lifee of miiine
to just go away and end
cuz life without yhoo
its just too bad...
i cant handle this baby
i cant even understandd
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
But now i see
this is what u wanted
you wanted her instead of me
and now u've got that
what more can u waant witthh mee?
oh, u wanna be friends, well, not gonna haaappen
i may love u, but to know ur
letting her look into ur eyes,
kiss ur lips
and the thhouuut of yhooo holding herrr close
makes me, so sick to the bone, i
i
i ]
iiiiiiiiiii
miss yhoo....
and i know... its stupid.. i shouuld juust move oon, but im just not gonna
let that happen and u cant stop meee
well, just watch i may not move on, but i gotta hold on
yhooo
so as long as i say, we can beeee friiiendddss i know... that theres a chance... a chance 4 u andd meeeee to neeverr eeendd...
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i
know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
and now u've got that, ull never see thru my deceptiooon, but i promiiise yhoo
ill keep you close, im NEVER GONNA LETTT YHOO GOOO
my love.....
hmmm, My love... woahh wwwwwwaooooahhh ooohh my looove... my love
Ur Mine.
X
im so upset david.. i dont know what to do.. cuz i love him. so much. and i dno.. im scared.. im out here on my own, no-one to catch me when i fall.
im dying. bit by bit... ever since tom.. ive been breaking apart.
i have to go. i cant to this.
Bye david...
x
He Said No.
im crying. i cant help it. even though i said he was gonna say no... i thought.... he says he likes someone else. i hate myself so much. for dumping him the first time... i had my chance. i should have known.......
My hearts breaking....
you did not just saii those words too me,
please, lets go back iiin tiiime,
to when yhoo loved mee
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
My hearts broken
so many tears shed
i want this lifee of miiine
to just go away and end
cuz life without yhoo
its just too bad...
i cant handle this baby
i cant even understandd
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
But now i see
this is what u wanted
you wanted her instead of me
and now u've got that
what more can u waant witthh mee?
oh, u wanna be friends, well, not gonna haaappen
i may love u, but to know ur
letting her look into ur eyes,
kiss ur lips
and the thhouuut of yhooo holding herrr close
makes me, so sick to the bone, i
i
i ]
iiiiiiiiiii
miss yhoo....
and i know... its stupid.. i shouuld juust move oon, but im just not gonna
let that happen and u cant stop meee
well, just watch i may not move on, but i gotta hold on
yhooo
so as long as i say, we can beeee friiiendddss i know... that theres a chance... a chance 4 u andd meeeee to neeverr eeendd...
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i
know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
and now u've got that, ull never see thru my deceptiooon, but i promiiise yhoo
ill keep you close, im NEVER GONNA LETTT YHOO GOOO
my love.....
hmmm, My love... woahh wwwwwwaooooahhh ooohh my looove... my love
Ur Mine.
X
im so upset david.. i dont know what to do.. cuz i love him. so much. and i dno.. im scared.. im out here on my own, no-one to catch me when i fall.
im dying. bit by bit... ever since tom.. ive been breaking apart.
i have to go. i cant to this.
Bye david...
x
No.
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
He Said No.
im crying. i cant help it. even though i said he was gonna say no... i thought.... he says he likes someone else. i hate myself so much. for dumping him the first time... i had my chance. i should have known.......
My hearts breaking....
you did not just saii those words too me,
please, lets go back iiin tiiime,
to when yhoo loved mee
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
My hearts broken
so many tears shed
i want this lifee of miiine
to just go away and end
cuz life without yhoo
its just too bad...
i cant handle this baby
i cant even understandd
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
But now i see
this is what u wanted
you wanted her instead of me
and now u've got that
what more can u waant witthh mee?
oh, u wanna be friends, well, not gonna haaappen
i may love u, but to know ur
letting her look into ur eyes,
kiss ur lips
and the thhouuut of yhooo holding herrr close
makes me, so sick to the bone, i
i
i ]
iiiiiiiiiii
miss yhoo....
and i know... its stupid.. i shouuld juust move oon, but im just not gonna
let that happen and u cant stop meee
well, just watch i may not move on, but i gotta hold on
yhooo
so as long as i say, we can beeee friiiendddss i know... that theres a chance... a chance 4 u andd meeeee to neeverr eeendd...
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i
know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
and now u've got that, ull never see thru my deceptiooon, but i promiiise yhoo
ill keep you close, im NEVER GONNA LETTT YHOO GOOO
my love.....
hmmm, My love... woahh wwwwwwaooooahhh ooohh my looove... my love
Ur Mine.
X
im so upset david.. i dont know what to do.. cuz i love him. so much. and i dno.. im scared.. im out here on my own, no-one to catch me when i fall.
im dying. bit by bit... ever since tom.. ive been breaking apart.
i have to go. i cant to this.
Bye david...
x
He Said No.
im crying. i cant help it. even though i said he was gonna say no... i thought.... he says he likes someone else. i hate myself so much. for dumping him the first time... i had my chance. i should have known.......
My hearts breaking....
you did not just saii those words too me,
please, lets go back iiin tiiime,
to when yhoo loved mee
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
My hearts broken
so many tears shed
i want this lifee of miiine
to just go away and end
cuz life without yhoo
its just too bad...
i cant handle this baby
i cant even understandd
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
But now i see
this is what u wanted
you wanted her instead of me
and now u've got that
what more can u waant witthh mee?
oh, u wanna be friends, well, not gonna haaappen
i may love u, but to know ur
letting her look into ur eyes,
kiss ur lips
and the thhouuut of yhooo holding herrr close
makes me, so sick to the bone, i
i
i ]
iiiiiiiiiii
miss yhoo....
and i know... its stupid.. i shouuld juust move oon, but im just not gonna
let that happen and u cant stop meee
well, just watch i may not move on, but i gotta hold on
yhooo
so as long as i say, we can beeee friiiendddss i know... that theres a chance... a chance 4 u andd meeeee to neeverr eeendd...
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i
know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
and now u've got that, ull never see thru my deceptiooon, but i promiiise yhoo
ill keep you close, im NEVER GONNA LETTT YHOO GOOO
my love.....
hmmm, My love... woahh wwwwwwaooooahhh ooohh my looove... my love
Ur Mine.
X
im so upset david.. i dont know what to do.. cuz i love him. so much. and i dno.. im scared.. im out here on my own, no-one to catch me when i fall.
im dying. bit by bit... ever since tom.. ive been breaking apart.
i have to go. i cant to this.
Bye david...
x
No.
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
He Said No.
im crying. i cant help it. even though i said he was gonna say no... i thought.... he says he likes someone else. i hate myself so much. for dumping him the first time... i had my chance. i should have known.......
My hearts breaking....
you did not just saii those words too me,
please, lets go back iiin tiiime,
to when yhoo loved mee
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
My hearts broken
so many tears shed
i want this lifee of miiine
to just go away and end
cuz life without yhoo
its just too bad...
i cant handle this baby
i cant even understandd
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
But now i see
this is what u wanted
you wanted her instead of me
and now u've got that
what more can u waant witthh mee?
oh, u wanna be friends, well, not gonna haaappen
i may love u, but to know ur
letting her look into ur eyes,
kiss ur lips
and the thhouuut of yhooo holding herrr close
makes me, so sick to the bone, i
i
i ]
iiiiiiiiiii
miss yhoo....
and i know... its stupid.. i shouuld juust move oon, but im just not gonna
let that happen and u cant stop meee
well, just watch i may not move on, but i gotta hold on
yhooo
so as long as i say, we can beeee friiiendddss i know... that theres a chance... a chance 4 u andd meeeee to neeverr eeendd...
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i
know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
and now u've got that, ull never see thru my deceptiooon, but i promiiise yhoo
ill keep you close, im NEVER GONNA LETTT YHOO GOOO
my love.....
hmmm, My love... woahh wwwwwwaooooahhh ooohh my looove... my love
Ur Mine.
X
im so upset david.. i dont know what to do.. cuz i love him. so much. and i dno.. im scared.. im out here on my own, no-one to catch me when i fall.
im dying. bit by bit... ever since tom.. ive been breaking apart.
i have to go. i cant to this.
Bye david...
x
He Said No.
im crying. i cant help it. even though i said he was gonna say no... i thought.... he says he likes someone else. i hate myself so much. for dumping him the first time... i had my chance. i should have known.......
My hearts breaking....
you did not just saii those words too me,
please, lets go back iiin tiiime,
to when yhoo loved mee
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
My hearts broken
so many tears shed
i want this lifee of miiine
to just go away and end
cuz life without yhoo
its just too bad...
i cant handle this baby
i cant even understandd
Cuz
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
But now i see
this is what u wanted
you wanted her instead of me
and now u've got that
what more can u waant witthh mee?
oh, u wanna be friends, well, not gonna haaappen
i may love u, but to know ur
letting her look into ur eyes,
kiss ur lips
and the thhouuut of yhooo holding herrr close
makes me, so sick to the bone, i
i
i ]
iiiiiiiiiii
miss yhoo....
and i know... its stupid.. i shouuld juust move oon, but im just not gonna
let that happen and u cant stop meee
well, just watch i may not move on, but i gotta hold on
yhooo
so as long as i say, we can beeee friiiendddss i know... that theres a chance... a chance 4 u andd meeeee to neeverr eeendd...
when i look in ur eyes, i see her
when i kiss ur lips, i see her
and when u hold me close, i
know just what ur thinking
you want mee to go,
and her to be there
instead offf mee...
and now u've got that, ull never see thru my deceptiooon, but i promiiise yhoo
ill keep you close, im NEVER GONNA LETTT YHOO GOOO
my love.....
hmmm, My love... woahh wwwwwwaooooahhh ooohh my looove... my love
Ur Mine.
X
im so upset david.. i dont know what to do.. cuz i love him. so much. and i dno.. im scared.. im out here on my own, no-one to catch me when i fall.
im dying. bit by bit... ever since tom.. ive been breaking apart.
i have to go. i cant to this.
Bye david...
x
Sam (part FIVE!!)
Hey David...
i am really tired... stayed up all night.. tom was having asma attacks, and we had to get mum to send an inhailer with a taxi at like 4 this morning.
it was scary... tom could've died.
i had my science sats this morning, ive got my maths ones tomorrow..
Sam was just online.. he has scouts or summit... but as he went i asked him if hes thought anymore... and he said 'Maybe...' and went offline!! the bugger!!
im listening to bloc party-prayer... its a good song... i like it alot... ive got it playing on YouTube.com....
tis my savour lol...
im gna wait till sam goes back online..... i want an answer. this time, im not having a 'maybe' he cant keep me strung along like this!!
GRRR!!
lol...... i think he will say no though..... i mean i am gonna push him alot though....... but, i need this... and if it is a no, i can move on with 'life'.... but if he says he feels the same... shit!!
i will be so happy..
it will change everything.. someone will want me, not the flirt i make them like!!
ooh.. he better say yesh!!
i love sam holmes sooooo much!!! that was i love sam holmes sooooo much!!!
lol... i lika thisa writing!!
iiiii miisss hiim caarrriiing... so muuuch... iii miiissss hhiiiim waantiiinggg meee, sooo baaaaaadlllllllyyyy annnd meee knnnoowwinng he wwannnts itss oooo baad
i am really tired... stayed up all night.. tom was having asma attacks, and we had to get mum to send an inhailer with a taxi at like 4 this morning.
it was scary... tom could've died.
i had my science sats this morning, ive got my maths ones tomorrow..
Sam was just online.. he has scouts or summit... but as he went i asked him if hes thought anymore... and he said 'Maybe...' and went offline!! the bugger!!
im listening to bloc party-prayer... its a good song... i like it alot... ive got it playing on YouTube.com....
tis my savour lol...
im gna wait till sam goes back online..... i want an answer. this time, im not having a 'maybe' he cant keep me strung along like this!!
GRRR!!
lol...... i think he will say no though..... i mean i am gonna push him alot though....... but, i need this... and if it is a no, i can move on with 'life'.... but if he says he feels the same... shit!!
i will be so happy..
it will change everything.. someone will want me, not the flirt i make them like!!
ooh.. he better say yesh!!
i love sam holmes sooooo much!!! that was i love sam holmes sooooo much!!!
lol... i lika thisa writing!!
iiiii miisss hiim caarrriiing... so muuuch... iii miiissss hhiiiim waantiiinggg meee, sooo baaaaaadlllllllyyyy annnd meee knnnoowwinng he wwannnts itss oooo baad
Monday 7 May 2007
Hello.
Hello David.
Do you think death is the end?
i dont. i think we live on.. in others hearts...
yeah right.
nah, i dont beleive in that bollucks... but i do beleive in reincarnation... i really wanna come back as a nice fat cat, with a nice family, and food... ooh, and a nice big comfy sofa... just like my cat does.
i wonder how insanity comes about...
Becky put doubts in my mind, y'know.
but when the time comes, ill know what to do.
i think im crazy... but not good crazy.
i think... god, i dunno...
i feel very odd inside... im ful of anger... but at Me...... i dont want to be, it just complicates things.
i have felt hate alot. too much maybe, for someone my age.
i cant wait until im Free.... free of school, home, friends. well 'friends'. none of them know me....
i wish they did... i could have someone to share the thoughts with.. i have so many...
and my plans, theories... like my sims 2 idea... oh well.. im gonna go have a shower... maybe i can wash away the hate... the tears.... the need for revenge.
Doubtful. thats what i say to sam, when he i go offline, he says love u, and i put doubtful. because, its taken so long. i want him to make a decision
im falling out of love with him. and thats scary. i want to love him forever,
in truth... i just hate the thought of being alone. i wish that when i run away, someone came after me, like i go after them, when they are sad. but no-one does for me.
i hate self pity.. u see, with me, its all about the hate, i cant help it... AHH
im going insane. i can feel it, reaching out from the depths... into me....
Bye David.
Sorry.
x
Do you think death is the end?
i dont. i think we live on.. in others hearts...
yeah right.
nah, i dont beleive in that bollucks... but i do beleive in reincarnation... i really wanna come back as a nice fat cat, with a nice family, and food... ooh, and a nice big comfy sofa... just like my cat does.
i wonder how insanity comes about...
Becky put doubts in my mind, y'know.
but when the time comes, ill know what to do.
i think im crazy... but not good crazy.
i think... god, i dunno...
i feel very odd inside... im ful of anger... but at Me...... i dont want to be, it just complicates things.
i have felt hate alot. too much maybe, for someone my age.
i cant wait until im Free.... free of school, home, friends. well 'friends'. none of them know me....
i wish they did... i could have someone to share the thoughts with.. i have so many...
and my plans, theories... like my sims 2 idea... oh well.. im gonna go have a shower... maybe i can wash away the hate... the tears.... the need for revenge.
Doubtful. thats what i say to sam, when he i go offline, he says love u, and i put doubtful. because, its taken so long. i want him to make a decision
im falling out of love with him. and thats scary. i want to love him forever,
in truth... i just hate the thought of being alone. i wish that when i run away, someone came after me, like i go after them, when they are sad. but no-one does for me.
i hate self pity.. u see, with me, its all about the hate, i cant help it... AHH
im going insane. i can feel it, reaching out from the depths... into me....
Bye David.
Sorry.
x
Hey
Yo!!
Hey David...
how are you?
im good... sam still doesnt know..... grr!!
im talking to ester online-dads girlfriend...
shes nice.. better than all the other girlfriends hes had!!
i can touch type really well now!!
i wish sam would go online...
ive just reaslised something....
my whole life is revolving around... Sam Holmes...
thats scary
oh well... sooner i get an answer the better.
i hope he will answer today.. i have my SATS tomorrow... and remember that promise? i wouldnt do them? i take it back.... these are important exams, and i doubt he will answer before then!
grr.... im bored... mums out at mirandas' 60th..... im not going, because simon will be there... i cant stand to be in the same room as him... and then, as its a dinner thing, id probably try to kill him with a spoon..
i mean it, i hate that thing so much..., i would happily kill him, and spend all my life in jail if it meant he was out of this world, and in hell for all the bad things hes done.
and when i go to hell... i mean one that isnt here.... i will torture him for the rest of eternity. he WILL pay for what he has done.
and ifi die, before i can kill him, i will come back as some sort of large cat, a tiger.... and kill him. not eat him, that would be gross, and hes too fat anyway... and im a vegetarian but id kill him.
id feel sorry for bex....... she would have lost her father. but when i do kill him, i wont EVER regret it. EVER
well ill write back when im not so depressed, and murderous, and when sam is online.
Bye David!
X
Hey David...
how are you?
im good... sam still doesnt know..... grr!!
im talking to ester online-dads girlfriend...
shes nice.. better than all the other girlfriends hes had!!
i can touch type really well now!!
i wish sam would go online...
ive just reaslised something....
my whole life is revolving around... Sam Holmes...
thats scary
oh well... sooner i get an answer the better.
i hope he will answer today.. i have my SATS tomorrow... and remember that promise? i wouldnt do them? i take it back.... these are important exams, and i doubt he will answer before then!
grr.... im bored... mums out at mirandas' 60th..... im not going, because simon will be there... i cant stand to be in the same room as him... and then, as its a dinner thing, id probably try to kill him with a spoon..
i mean it, i hate that thing so much..., i would happily kill him, and spend all my life in jail if it meant he was out of this world, and in hell for all the bad things hes done.
and when i go to hell... i mean one that isnt here.... i will torture him for the rest of eternity. he WILL pay for what he has done.
and ifi die, before i can kill him, i will come back as some sort of large cat, a tiger.... and kill him. not eat him, that would be gross, and hes too fat anyway... and im a vegetarian but id kill him.
id feel sorry for bex....... she would have lost her father. but when i do kill him, i wont EVER regret it. EVER
well ill write back when im not so depressed, and murderous, and when sam is online.
Bye David!
X
Sunday 6 May 2007
ONLINE AT LAST!!
hey david...
Sams online... im chatting to him now.. he went on webcam (breifly) his hair looks good, lol.
hes at his dads... the only reason he has a webcam... grr!!
he wanted me to go on... i sooo would have, but.... uh...... i havent got dressed all day.... ive been revising!!
BORING!!
lol, it seriously is though!!
ill write back later... wen ive talked to sam a bit more!!
Byeee
x
Sams online... im chatting to him now.. he went on webcam (breifly) his hair looks good, lol.
hes at his dads... the only reason he has a webcam... grr!!
he wanted me to go on... i sooo would have, but.... uh...... i havent got dressed all day.... ive been revising!!
BORING!!
lol, it seriously is though!!
ill write back later... wen ive talked to sam a bit more!!
Byeee
x
Saturday 5 May 2007
New day, New Life-but still no boyfriend.
Hey...
i wanna give you a name... i think ill call you..... David, from my favourite set of books... its just so it seems like im not talking to myself!!
Hello david.... dad rung me today, at 10ish!! my yoda ringtone woke me up!! grumble!
no news from sam.... but ill give him time.... AHH, MY SATS ARE ON TUESDAY!!
my inner tube on my front tire is bust again, so i went to get that fixed, but the guy wasnt there... so ill walk to school in the morining, and home, then ill get it sorted tuesday evening!
grr...
i am listening to 'stranger like me' im gonna listen to natasha bedingfield in a bit.. shes good!!
her new song ' i wanna have ur babies' is a bit odd... but whos to say whats odd and whats not!!
not me for certain.... im now talkiing to pablo... he rocks!! majorly!!!
i really cant help thinking of sam... what it would be like to have his arms around me.....!!!
wow!!! he just went online!! and as i was talking to pablo about him... weird!
woo!! go vansesa carleton!! 1000 miles is a WICKED SONG!! WAY!!
im talking to sam.. i convinced him to have his hair cut and he had it done today!! woop!
he looks better with short hair, believe me...
i asked him. again. how he feels.... im sorry ok? but im an impatiant kinda gal! holy crap i just said 'gal'.... i really need to get out more... oh look hes replied.
he said yeah. i may need a little more of tht... y'know, dont hold back!
grrr, hes 'still thinking'.... i swear, im gonna explode, or implode... either one i blow up!!
ok, once this song is finito, im gonna listen to some natasha bedingfield... i think i spelt tht right!
lol...
sam is confusing.. he just asked me if i like dogwalking???
hmm.....
hmm, intresting, sams going to be a dog walker... im a dogsitter, y'know... i look after buckley, my mate, laurens dog, shes a midwife, and works nights, so when shes too tired, or busy i take buckley for a walk, or feed him, tht stuff!!
WOW!! i cant wait until my birthday!!
i will be 14.... wow... officially 1 year older than sam.. he is year 8.. at cns... im i year 9 at hewett, OWNED!! lol..
the hewett is like pverrun with chavs....... their like rats, only harder to get rid of!!
lool!!
i can type well fast, and touch type!! yaay!! woop da loop!! lolgasm...
i hope one day this is a book, and if sam ever reads this, he will know how i felt about him. how strongly i felt about him.
grr... i had the way i put felt.... but i guess... if he doesnt say he likes me, then i will have to get over him... maybe go out with someone else!!
lol...
i hope it doesnt come to that, i dont want to hurt someone who actually cares about me!!
i just asked sam how long he will be thinking for....
he is writing back...
he says he doesnt know.. i didnt expect him too, i just want an answer!! all this waiting just irratates me!!
well..... im gonna leave this up, but not write for a bit, i need some time to think!!!!!!!!!
ooh, i know what i can do to pass the time!!
im gonna write a song... about sam!!
ok...
here goes....
i wish, i could write a song
with as much meaning,
and sense
as a songwriter
i wish i could paint a painting,
with as much colour
and fashion
as a painter,
but im sorry, just not gonna happen, i get it, ur thinking, well so am iii
just so you know, just so you know, im alone, all alone, and im thinking, about
why i cant paint, write, and now i know, the answer to all of this
is that until you've done thinking, about the question i put to yoooou,
then i can understand, but until ur done thinkin, im stuck, in this poool off time babe
i wish i could dream
with as much imagination
and humour,
as a dreamer
i wish i could win,
wish as much joy
and persistance
as a winner
but im sorry, just not gonna happen, i get it, ur thinking, well so am i,
just so you know, just so you know, im alone, all alone, and im thinking, about
why i cant dream, win, and now i know, the answer to all of this
is that until you've dont thinking, about the question i put to yoooou
then i can understand, but until ur done thinkin, im stuck in the poool of time babe
im sorry, but i said to yooou
i still get this feeling, wen im close to you,
and until it goes away
im stickin by yhoo,
thru the pain...
so thats whhy
i cant write,
paint
dream
and i caant win honey, so you and me, thats the question i put to yhoo that afternoon, and until i get my ANSWER
but im sorry, just not gonna happen, i get it, ur thinking, well so am i,
just so you know, just so you know, im alone, all alone, and im thinking, about
why i cant dream, win, and now i know, the answer to all of this
is that until you've dont thinking, about the question i put to yoooou
then i can understand, but until ur done thinkin, im stuck in the poool of time babe
until...
just so you know....
just so you
just so
just
Sorry.
well?? sorry david, for doing all those songs, i know they are no good, but i try!
well. im bored...sam is still offline.. and aparently still thinking.... grr!!
i didnt think it would take this long, y'know?
oh david, i wish the real david, from hewett was here... he was like my best friend... he used to be like my twin! but then we had a fight... we didnt talk for ages...we do now... but rarely...
i miss having that friendship. i have photos, of the amazing times we used to have.
but...
nothing lasts forever!
oh great, now im crying. wow.. i wish connor or david or pablo were here, to give me a hug, and say it'll all be ok... cuz thats what they do. they are my best friends. EVER.
i wish...
wishes came true!!
i stayed awake all last night... looking out my window for shooting stars... so i could make a wish... bet you cant guess what id wish for!!
hmm...
lol..ive been writing this on and off for the past 4 hours!! wowee!
brb lol.
back...
sam is still offline!!!
mega anoyance!!
well.... im bored!!
megareno!1
wow, i totally made that word up!!
ms mcgragh wants me to start talking in german... in class shes done that to us in french, saying it stimulates the brain... it does but somedays im just majorly tired, i cant cope with french or german in english let alone...well, french or 'deutsch'...
ill write you something in german david..
meine name ist hana oconnell... ich habe zwei schwester und zwei bruder, sandrine, bex, ben und tom, Sie ist... ok!!
im not awake enough to write anymore... maybe tomorrow??
oohhh, avril lavigne girlfriend!!
sehr gut song lol!!
i dont know song in german sorry!!
brb, gotta eat me some food!!
lol..
back.. i had sausages and noodles for dinner... twas' tasty!!
woo, i just watched docter who, im now discussing with a diferent sam.... we do this like every week!!
yay!!
its not on next week, because of the stupid eurovision song contest!! huff!!
docter who scares me sometimes, and i think next weeks one will... its about like, creepy scarecrows!!
ahh!!
but, i dunno... im now listening to taking back sunday, twenty twenty surgery... weird song lol!
that song is finished... now its make damn sure!! now this is a WICKED song!! WAY!
im way bored... way seems to be my word at the moment!!
lolage... as does that!!
i wish sam would go online... wow, if he ever reads this! wow, i will blush my cheeks off!! i mean proper!!
someone said, not eben seriously, that i lurve him, and i could FEEL MY CHEEKS BURNING! people actually asked me if i was sunburnt!
ahh!
woop woop?!
im still bored... and sam STILL isnt online!! everytime he goes on, im gonna ask him wether he has made up his mind or not..... this seems to be taking a while!!
im looking thru all my pictures, on bebo, and changing names, leaving comments, that kinda thing!!
its 20:58... im still uberbored... i have like, nothing to do!
i hope you liked the song i wrote earlier david... it was for sam... i think....
can u believe it, i made tht up, right off my head!!
i really should be a song writer!!
but not until i have my answer... i meant that to. my lifes on a standstill... and i have sats next week!! i better know by then!! otherwise..... i wont take them.
i wont do it.
i swear
i promise.
Forever
and a day... thats another one of my songs, forever and a day...!!
i might write it up sometime... not today though... i can feel depression kicking in.. this will not
be pritty.............
its 10 past nine... and still no sam... i wish he would go online... i really wanna know!!
im writing a song for pablo... heres the layout:
verse 1
verse 2
chorus 1
verse 3
verse 4
chorus 2
chorus 3
kk, well, he is hopefully going to send me the music, so i can work with it.... phew!!
this is gonna be very dificult!! ive never written a song for somebody else before!!
ok... well, im gonna put it in word, not on here, because im going to do rough copies and shit
Bye david!!
xxxxxxx
i wanna give you a name... i think ill call you..... David, from my favourite set of books... its just so it seems like im not talking to myself!!
Hello david.... dad rung me today, at 10ish!! my yoda ringtone woke me up!! grumble!
no news from sam.... but ill give him time.... AHH, MY SATS ARE ON TUESDAY!!
my inner tube on my front tire is bust again, so i went to get that fixed, but the guy wasnt there... so ill walk to school in the morining, and home, then ill get it sorted tuesday evening!
grr...
i am listening to 'stranger like me' im gonna listen to natasha bedingfield in a bit.. shes good!!
her new song ' i wanna have ur babies' is a bit odd... but whos to say whats odd and whats not!!
not me for certain.... im now talkiing to pablo... he rocks!! majorly!!!
i really cant help thinking of sam... what it would be like to have his arms around me.....!!!
wow!!! he just went online!! and as i was talking to pablo about him... weird!
woo!! go vansesa carleton!! 1000 miles is a WICKED SONG!! WAY!!
im talking to sam.. i convinced him to have his hair cut and he had it done today!! woop!
he looks better with short hair, believe me...
i asked him. again. how he feels.... im sorry ok? but im an impatiant kinda gal! holy crap i just said 'gal'.... i really need to get out more... oh look hes replied.
he said yeah. i may need a little more of tht... y'know, dont hold back!
grrr, hes 'still thinking'.... i swear, im gonna explode, or implode... either one i blow up!!
ok, once this song is finito, im gonna listen to some natasha bedingfield... i think i spelt tht right!
lol...
sam is confusing.. he just asked me if i like dogwalking???
hmm.....
hmm, intresting, sams going to be a dog walker... im a dogsitter, y'know... i look after buckley, my mate, laurens dog, shes a midwife, and works nights, so when shes too tired, or busy i take buckley for a walk, or feed him, tht stuff!!
WOW!! i cant wait until my birthday!!
i will be 14.... wow... officially 1 year older than sam.. he is year 8.. at cns... im i year 9 at hewett, OWNED!! lol..
the hewett is like pverrun with chavs....... their like rats, only harder to get rid of!!
lool!!
i can type well fast, and touch type!! yaay!! woop da loop!! lolgasm...
i hope one day this is a book, and if sam ever reads this, he will know how i felt about him. how strongly i felt about him.
grr... i had the way i put felt.... but i guess... if he doesnt say he likes me, then i will have to get over him... maybe go out with someone else!!
lol...
i hope it doesnt come to that, i dont want to hurt someone who actually cares about me!!
i just asked sam how long he will be thinking for....
he is writing back...
he says he doesnt know.. i didnt expect him too, i just want an answer!! all this waiting just irratates me!!
well..... im gonna leave this up, but not write for a bit, i need some time to think!!!!!!!!!
ooh, i know what i can do to pass the time!!
im gonna write a song... about sam!!
ok...
here goes....
i wish, i could write a song
with as much meaning,
and sense
as a songwriter
i wish i could paint a painting,
with as much colour
and fashion
as a painter,
but im sorry, just not gonna happen, i get it, ur thinking, well so am iii
just so you know, just so you know, im alone, all alone, and im thinking, about
why i cant paint, write, and now i know, the answer to all of this
is that until you've done thinking, about the question i put to yoooou,
then i can understand, but until ur done thinkin, im stuck, in this poool off time babe
i wish i could dream
with as much imagination
and humour,
as a dreamer
i wish i could win,
wish as much joy
and persistance
as a winner
but im sorry, just not gonna happen, i get it, ur thinking, well so am i,
just so you know, just so you know, im alone, all alone, and im thinking, about
why i cant dream, win, and now i know, the answer to all of this
is that until you've dont thinking, about the question i put to yoooou
then i can understand, but until ur done thinkin, im stuck in the poool of time babe
im sorry, but i said to yooou
i still get this feeling, wen im close to you,
and until it goes away
im stickin by yhoo,
thru the pain...
so thats whhy
i cant write,
paint
dream
and i caant win honey, so you and me, thats the question i put to yhoo that afternoon, and until i get my ANSWER
but im sorry, just not gonna happen, i get it, ur thinking, well so am i,
just so you know, just so you know, im alone, all alone, and im thinking, about
why i cant dream, win, and now i know, the answer to all of this
is that until you've dont thinking, about the question i put to yoooou
then i can understand, but until ur done thinkin, im stuck in the poool of time babe
until...
just so you know....
just so you
just so
just
Sorry.
well?? sorry david, for doing all those songs, i know they are no good, but i try!
well. im bored...sam is still offline.. and aparently still thinking.... grr!!
i didnt think it would take this long, y'know?
oh david, i wish the real david, from hewett was here... he was like my best friend... he used to be like my twin! but then we had a fight... we didnt talk for ages...we do now... but rarely...
i miss having that friendship. i have photos, of the amazing times we used to have.
but...
nothing lasts forever!
oh great, now im crying. wow.. i wish connor or david or pablo were here, to give me a hug, and say it'll all be ok... cuz thats what they do. they are my best friends. EVER.
i wish...
wishes came true!!
i stayed awake all last night... looking out my window for shooting stars... so i could make a wish... bet you cant guess what id wish for!!
hmm...
lol..ive been writing this on and off for the past 4 hours!! wowee!
brb lol.
back...
sam is still offline!!!
mega anoyance!!
well.... im bored!!
megareno!1
wow, i totally made that word up!!
ms mcgragh wants me to start talking in german... in class shes done that to us in french, saying it stimulates the brain... it does but somedays im just majorly tired, i cant cope with french or german in english let alone...well, french or 'deutsch'...
ill write you something in german david..
meine name ist hana oconnell... ich habe zwei schwester und zwei bruder, sandrine, bex, ben und tom, Sie ist... ok!!
im not awake enough to write anymore... maybe tomorrow??
oohhh, avril lavigne girlfriend!!
sehr gut song lol!!
i dont know song in german sorry!!
brb, gotta eat me some food!!
lol..
back.. i had sausages and noodles for dinner... twas' tasty!!
woo, i just watched docter who, im now discussing with a diferent sam.... we do this like every week!!
yay!!
its not on next week, because of the stupid eurovision song contest!! huff!!
docter who scares me sometimes, and i think next weeks one will... its about like, creepy scarecrows!!
ahh!!
but, i dunno... im now listening to taking back sunday, twenty twenty surgery... weird song lol!
that song is finished... now its make damn sure!! now this is a WICKED song!! WAY!
im way bored... way seems to be my word at the moment!!
lolage... as does that!!
i wish sam would go online... wow, if he ever reads this! wow, i will blush my cheeks off!! i mean proper!!
someone said, not eben seriously, that i lurve him, and i could FEEL MY CHEEKS BURNING! people actually asked me if i was sunburnt!
ahh!
woop woop?!
im still bored... and sam STILL isnt online!! everytime he goes on, im gonna ask him wether he has made up his mind or not..... this seems to be taking a while!!
im looking thru all my pictures, on bebo, and changing names, leaving comments, that kinda thing!!
its 20:58... im still uberbored... i have like, nothing to do!
i hope you liked the song i wrote earlier david... it was for sam... i think....
can u believe it, i made tht up, right off my head!!
i really should be a song writer!!
but not until i have my answer... i meant that to. my lifes on a standstill... and i have sats next week!! i better know by then!! otherwise..... i wont take them.
i wont do it.
i swear
i promise.
Forever
and a day... thats another one of my songs, forever and a day...!!
i might write it up sometime... not today though... i can feel depression kicking in.. this will not
be pritty.............
its 10 past nine... and still no sam... i wish he would go online... i really wanna know!!
im writing a song for pablo... heres the layout:
verse 1
verse 2
chorus 1
verse 3
verse 4
chorus 2
chorus 3
kk, well, he is hopefully going to send me the music, so i can work with it.... phew!!
this is gonna be very dificult!! ive never written a song for somebody else before!!
ok... well, im gonna put it in word, not on here, because im going to do rough copies and shit
Bye david!!
xxxxxxx
Friday 4 May 2007
Sam (part four)
He Doesn't Know.
how he feels i mean...
i mean sam. he finally went online...
i cannot beleive this.... i have spent all day wondering... and now... nothing.
im scared... im losing him... i can feel it... and that scares me more than anything.
i need him. to breath.
aaron just went online.
i just want yhoo to know...
that i understand.
ur hearts mine boy, so dont you forget,
cuz...
this is my wurld, only one way in, only one way out, so dont yooo think u can walk all over me, cuz ull stick like ur wearing gravity boots....
so, one day i see you. ur with her, it juust takes one look, form me 2 u, and i know, ur just hiding behind her eyes..
i smile, i wave, at her, then you... she smiles back, only you see the hunger, the need, cuz..
this is my wurld, only one way in, only one way out so dont yooo think you can walk all over me, cuz ull stick like ur wearing gravity boots
the next time i see yooo, ur alone, and i take my chaance, i push yoo, against the wall, just teasin, and i know that now, ur mine and there is no way in hell, ur gettinn away agen
wooooaaoooh, cuz
this is my wurld, only one wayn in, only one way out so dont yooo think u can wakl all ova me, cuz ull stick like ur wearing gravity boooots...
and i know, u said its over, face the facts so iiii saiii to yhoo, i dont think so boii, im the devil ur my sinner, my most prized possesion, ur not gettin away anytime soooon
cuz this is my wurld only one way in onliii onee waaayy out, so dont yhooooo think u can walk all over me, cuz ull stick, oh u'll stiiick to meee like ur on the moon weariing graviity boots...
and i just want you to know,
i understand ur
hearts mine boy, so dont you forget
cuz.
thats a song i just made up.. rubbish isnt it? it took alot of work.... sam is still set to brb, so il talk to him later... i hope me and him can sort this shit out, cuz as i said, i need him. hes my everything. and i know,
'dont make one person ur everything, i did, and now im left with nothing'
which is good, i have nothing to lose, i can deal with this.
i promise.
i might be a song writer... i wanna be a curator y'know... i cant wait untill im 18.... the world is so full of choices, people to meet, decisions to be made... speaking of decisions... hurry up sam!!
crap. hes gone offline. im ggonna wait until he comes back on...
chow for now amigo
Byee x
Later on......
holy shit, hes online!! ahh!!
ok hana, stay cool!! you can do this!! just aproach him carefully... um.. u cant aproach ppl on the net... o dear lord.. im talking/typing to myself!!! wow i really like this guy... that sucks.
hes offline. its been a matter of seconds.... this sucks.. again, i will wait.
Even Later On.......
im thinking about copying all of these, and y'know, making a story out of them... i dunno... i could keep this FOREVER!! woo!! but, im not so sure.. i hope i will!! this is the longest ive ever kept a diary, y'know... i miss sam...... i want him to go online, and read the instant msg i left him!!!!!!
i hope there is a god... 'cause then he can help me win over sam. because i love him. way WAY WAY!! im listening to linkin park, what ive done... its a very good song... goo i pace myself... woo!! lol...
i like linkin park alot.. especially when people make videos with ff and linkin park as the cover song... im gonna listen to some music off my phone... i wish marzipan would stop running round his cage!! i can barely hear my phone... im listening to aerosmith?!?!?!? woop woop!! wicked song, i think its i dont wanna miss a thing.... i like it!! YAY! WAY!
i read the boy in the striped pajamas... it was very sad, and unurving,,, it told me, that even when u achaive in something, its still gonna bite back, nothings for free... even taking over a country and killing, no, murdering thousands of people... brunos father was a bad man... but hitler was worse... we're doing hitler in history... im gonna take history next year.... should be fun... im also taking business studies and german!! woop!!
im now going on bbc radio one, because i want to listen to the radio...... should be fun!! woop woop!!
i wish sam would go online, and read the message i left him.. big time!!!!! =)
or should i say =(....... i wish i was happy...
ok, radio officially on!! WOOP!! pete tong.. hes ok.. i prefer chris moyles though.. mind you, he is aimed at the younger teen audience i think.. well, i think anyways!!
me and connor made a bet today. i told him i could break him within the year, nd get him to tell me who he fancies. if i do, i get a tenner, if i dont, i give him a tenner! ahh!!
i think i will... i broke az the spaz.. thats nasty, but i mean it as a joke!!!!
lol...
i used to fancy az... but hes not intrested in having a girlfriend, unfortunatly....
i like the radio..
this is the easiest book i have ever writen, because it already has characters, a setting, a plot line (me, norwich, my declining social life?!?)
im bored... i never thought id write a blog.... i guess im writing to pass the time... lol.
nobody intresting is online!! AHH!! i have to get marzipan out in 15 mins... the joy. he just bites me!!
koh, the other day at lunch, connor like pinned me down, and i thought, for one second, that he was going to kiss me... but then he started tickling me to death!!
i wonder, what it would be like, for connor to kiss me? i wouldn't mind if he did... but, i dunno... never really thought of him that way.. but pablo? hell yeah!! i had a major crush on jamie in year 8, but now we just rock at being friends... i value that.
i call jamie pablo, or jamie dodger.. so thats who im talking about, if i say those nicknames!!
wow, the radio is B-O-R-I-N-G!!
Wish i had a decent book, but they are all upstairs... grr, sam GO ONLINE!! wow, i hope he never reads this, even if i do somehow manage to publish this. i think i might not... this is all a bit personal, even if becky is most likley reading this!!
i babble on a bit... oh well... SAM, GO ONLINE!!
i just wanna scream from the rooftops... my heart just jumped, as sabby went online, i thought it was him..
i had a major go at tom yesturday.... i dont think he will even talk to me again...
huff!!
yeah...
im off the radio now, and im on bebo, listening to cascada-miricle.. its a rockin' song!!
i have this file.. its called 'thouts of a broken child' its where i write down all my songs...
i may not have mentioned this, im not sure, but i have short term memory loss... i mean, i have no memory of yesturday, but.... of years and years ago!
i think im going to give up on sam now...
its lateish and i have to get marzipan out... ill leave this screen up, so ill write some more when he is out and sorted!!
bye amigos!!
x
how he feels i mean...
i mean sam. he finally went online...
i cannot beleive this.... i have spent all day wondering... and now... nothing.
im scared... im losing him... i can feel it... and that scares me more than anything.
i need him. to breath.
aaron just went online.
i just want yhoo to know...
that i understand.
ur hearts mine boy, so dont you forget,
cuz...
this is my wurld, only one way in, only one way out, so dont yooo think u can walk all over me, cuz ull stick like ur wearing gravity boots....
so, one day i see you. ur with her, it juust takes one look, form me 2 u, and i know, ur just hiding behind her eyes..
i smile, i wave, at her, then you... she smiles back, only you see the hunger, the need, cuz..
this is my wurld, only one way in, only one way out so dont yooo think you can walk all over me, cuz ull stick like ur wearing gravity boots
the next time i see yooo, ur alone, and i take my chaance, i push yoo, against the wall, just teasin, and i know that now, ur mine and there is no way in hell, ur gettinn away agen
wooooaaoooh, cuz
this is my wurld, only one wayn in, only one way out so dont yooo think u can wakl all ova me, cuz ull stick like ur wearing gravity boooots...
and i know, u said its over, face the facts so iiii saiii to yhoo, i dont think so boii, im the devil ur my sinner, my most prized possesion, ur not gettin away anytime soooon
cuz this is my wurld only one way in onliii onee waaayy out, so dont yhooooo think u can walk all over me, cuz ull stick, oh u'll stiiick to meee like ur on the moon weariing graviity boots...
and i just want you to know,
i understand ur
hearts mine boy, so dont you forget
cuz.
thats a song i just made up.. rubbish isnt it? it took alot of work.... sam is still set to brb, so il talk to him later... i hope me and him can sort this shit out, cuz as i said, i need him. hes my everything. and i know,
'dont make one person ur everything, i did, and now im left with nothing'
which is good, i have nothing to lose, i can deal with this.
i promise.
i might be a song writer... i wanna be a curator y'know... i cant wait untill im 18.... the world is so full of choices, people to meet, decisions to be made... speaking of decisions... hurry up sam!!
crap. hes gone offline. im ggonna wait until he comes back on...
chow for now amigo
Byee x
Later on......
holy shit, hes online!! ahh!!
ok hana, stay cool!! you can do this!! just aproach him carefully... um.. u cant aproach ppl on the net... o dear lord.. im talking/typing to myself!!! wow i really like this guy... that sucks.
hes offline. its been a matter of seconds.... this sucks.. again, i will wait.
Even Later On.......
im thinking about copying all of these, and y'know, making a story out of them... i dunno... i could keep this FOREVER!! woo!! but, im not so sure.. i hope i will!! this is the longest ive ever kept a diary, y'know... i miss sam...... i want him to go online, and read the instant msg i left him!!!!!!
i hope there is a god... 'cause then he can help me win over sam. because i love him. way WAY WAY!! im listening to linkin park, what ive done... its a very good song... goo i pace myself... woo!! lol...
i like linkin park alot.. especially when people make videos with ff and linkin park as the cover song... im gonna listen to some music off my phone... i wish marzipan would stop running round his cage!! i can barely hear my phone... im listening to aerosmith?!?!?!? woop woop!! wicked song, i think its i dont wanna miss a thing.... i like it!! YAY! WAY!
i read the boy in the striped pajamas... it was very sad, and unurving,,, it told me, that even when u achaive in something, its still gonna bite back, nothings for free... even taking over a country and killing, no, murdering thousands of people... brunos father was a bad man... but hitler was worse... we're doing hitler in history... im gonna take history next year.... should be fun... im also taking business studies and german!! woop!!
im now going on bbc radio one, because i want to listen to the radio...... should be fun!! woop woop!!
i wish sam would go online, and read the message i left him.. big time!!!!! =)
or should i say =(....... i wish i was happy...
ok, radio officially on!! WOOP!! pete tong.. hes ok.. i prefer chris moyles though.. mind you, he is aimed at the younger teen audience i think.. well, i think anyways!!
me and connor made a bet today. i told him i could break him within the year, nd get him to tell me who he fancies. if i do, i get a tenner, if i dont, i give him a tenner! ahh!!
i think i will... i broke az the spaz.. thats nasty, but i mean it as a joke!!!!
lol...
i used to fancy az... but hes not intrested in having a girlfriend, unfortunatly....
i like the radio..
this is the easiest book i have ever writen, because it already has characters, a setting, a plot line (me, norwich, my declining social life?!?)
im bored... i never thought id write a blog.... i guess im writing to pass the time... lol.
nobody intresting is online!! AHH!! i have to get marzipan out in 15 mins... the joy. he just bites me!!
koh, the other day at lunch, connor like pinned me down, and i thought, for one second, that he was going to kiss me... but then he started tickling me to death!!
i wonder, what it would be like, for connor to kiss me? i wouldn't mind if he did... but, i dunno... never really thought of him that way.. but pablo? hell yeah!! i had a major crush on jamie in year 8, but now we just rock at being friends... i value that.
i call jamie pablo, or jamie dodger.. so thats who im talking about, if i say those nicknames!!
wow, the radio is B-O-R-I-N-G!!
Wish i had a decent book, but they are all upstairs... grr, sam GO ONLINE!! wow, i hope he never reads this, even if i do somehow manage to publish this. i think i might not... this is all a bit personal, even if becky is most likley reading this!!
i babble on a bit... oh well... SAM, GO ONLINE!!
i just wanna scream from the rooftops... my heart just jumped, as sabby went online, i thought it was him..
i had a major go at tom yesturday.... i dont think he will even talk to me again...
huff!!
yeah...
im off the radio now, and im on bebo, listening to cascada-miricle.. its a rockin' song!!
i have this file.. its called 'thouts of a broken child' its where i write down all my songs...
i may not have mentioned this, im not sure, but i have short term memory loss... i mean, i have no memory of yesturday, but.... of years and years ago!
i think im going to give up on sam now...
its lateish and i have to get marzipan out... ill leave this screen up, so ill write some more when he is out and sorted!!
bye amigos!!
x
Sam (part three!!)
Hey... i just got home from school... im talking to sam on msn... ahh!!
today sucked... i spent all of it with becky, cause she is not talking to lucy or pippa, the slags either...
im bored...
omg!! he didnt text because HE HAS NO CREDIT!! not because he doesnt like me!! woop!!
and now hes gone offline... without telling me.... i wish he would tell me what hes decided. i really like this one.. bigtime.
hes back on. i left him an IM but he hasnt replied to it yet... oh dear... shit...
i know hes gonna say, 'sorry, but i like hayley... thats life'. i swear, im gonna be so upset..
oh... he just rung me.. hes not really on msn, hes at 'work'.... i hope hes not lying to me...
grr. so i have to wait till he gets home, until i get my answer... that sucks.
ill carry on with this, later, on a different post, im going off my comp for now... thanks for listening whoever you are..
Byeee
x
today sucked... i spent all of it with becky, cause she is not talking to lucy or pippa, the slags either...
im bored...
omg!! he didnt text because HE HAS NO CREDIT!! not because he doesnt like me!! woop!!
and now hes gone offline... without telling me.... i wish he would tell me what hes decided. i really like this one.. bigtime.
hes back on. i left him an IM but he hasnt replied to it yet... oh dear... shit...
i know hes gonna say, 'sorry, but i like hayley... thats life'. i swear, im gonna be so upset..
oh... he just rung me.. hes not really on msn, hes at 'work'.... i hope hes not lying to me...
grr. so i have to wait till he gets home, until i get my answer... that sucks.
ill carry on with this, later, on a different post, im going off my comp for now... thanks for listening whoever you are..
Byeee
x
Thursday 3 May 2007
Sam (part 2)
Yes, i know...
You've heard enough about 'Sam'.
Well, sorry, but i have another update, to the whole situation. but first, i need to put in another song. well, this one is a phrase:
theres no destiny wen everyones ur enemy.
short, but the truth. i also have some funny sayings, that you might like:
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
ill put some more, next time i leave another post.
And now back to Sam.
Earlier, i left a post, saying that i had lost my chance. well... i made another one. Sam went on msn, as i was about to go, at 7pm and he said he was going, even though, he has only just gone on, and i told him not to. he did, then, about a second later, he went back on. i told him how i feel, and he said he needed some time to think about how he feels.. i told him to text me once he had made his mind up.
im still waiting on that text.....
i think ill just leave this now, until he texts... then i shal tell you, straight away ofcorse!!
grr, still waiting, at 20:31....
ok.. its 20:50... should i be worried?? i mean, i just sent him a text... not sure why.... im impatient like that. i want to know if hes worth it, or wether he is just stringing me along... that would really piss me off, lol.
ok.... 20:51... this is a minute blog at the mo' lol!!
im sorry..... nerves i guess...
20:51... tash just signed on.. the one in my year... gawd, im freaked.. what if he doesnt like me? what am i suposed to then? i need help. seriously. im gonna look up proffensional help on my friend the internet.. it will give me summit to do... ill get back to you with the results... its 20:54 by the way...
i didnt get anything good...
20:58.. now im freaked. im mean it. im shit scared. never been this nervey before...
one minute to nine... 2 hours since i told him. he should have made up his mind by now. oh god, hes trying to think how to break it to me nicely. oh, my life offiacilly sucks..
AHH, NINE OCLOCK..
SHIT.
im normal. well. nearly. ive just realised. im worrying about a GUY. not where im going to live, not wether mums ok or not. things are getting better. WOWEE
OK.
its six minutes past nine.. im officailly more freaked than i was before... holy shit.i dont know what im gonna do. what if he doesnt like me?
holy crap hes online. shit. what do i do? do i talk to him? or not?? AHH!!
ok, i said, um... hey.. no reply as of yet..
gawd, hes not even writing a messege... i am soo screwed... i mean seriously.
its been 3 minutes and nothing. i am soo freaked right now... HELP!!
oh god... please.. sam.... say anything
ok.. i just signed out of msn...he obviously doesnt want to talk to me. ill let you know tomorrow, i guess, whether or not i have a boyfriend, or ive ruined a friendship...
Bye...
x
ps my touch typing rocks!!
You've heard enough about 'Sam'.
Well, sorry, but i have another update, to the whole situation. but first, i need to put in another song. well, this one is a phrase:
theres no destiny wen everyones ur enemy.
short, but the truth. i also have some funny sayings, that you might like:
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
ill put some more, next time i leave another post.
And now back to Sam.
Earlier, i left a post, saying that i had lost my chance. well... i made another one. Sam went on msn, as i was about to go, at 7pm and he said he was going, even though, he has only just gone on, and i told him not to. he did, then, about a second later, he went back on. i told him how i feel, and he said he needed some time to think about how he feels.. i told him to text me once he had made his mind up.
im still waiting on that text.....
i think ill just leave this now, until he texts... then i shal tell you, straight away ofcorse!!
grr, still waiting, at 20:31....
ok.. its 20:50... should i be worried?? i mean, i just sent him a text... not sure why.... im impatient like that. i want to know if hes worth it, or wether he is just stringing me along... that would really piss me off, lol.
ok.... 20:51... this is a minute blog at the mo' lol!!
im sorry..... nerves i guess...
20:51... tash just signed on.. the one in my year... gawd, im freaked.. what if he doesnt like me? what am i suposed to then? i need help. seriously. im gonna look up proffensional help on my friend the internet.. it will give me summit to do... ill get back to you with the results... its 20:54 by the way...
i didnt get anything good...
20:58.. now im freaked. im mean it. im shit scared. never been this nervey before...
one minute to nine... 2 hours since i told him. he should have made up his mind by now. oh god, hes trying to think how to break it to me nicely. oh, my life offiacilly sucks..
AHH, NINE OCLOCK..
SHIT.
im normal. well. nearly. ive just realised. im worrying about a GUY. not where im going to live, not wether mums ok or not. things are getting better. WOWEE
OK.
its six minutes past nine.. im officailly more freaked than i was before... holy shit.i dont know what im gonna do. what if he doesnt like me?
holy crap hes online. shit. what do i do? do i talk to him? or not?? AHH!!
ok, i said, um... hey.. no reply as of yet..
gawd, hes not even writing a messege... i am soo screwed... i mean seriously.
its been 3 minutes and nothing. i am soo freaked right now... HELP!!
oh god... please.. sam.... say anything
ok.. i just signed out of msn...he obviously doesnt want to talk to me. ill let you know tomorrow, i guess, whether or not i have a boyfriend, or ive ruined a friendship...
Bye...
x
ps my touch typing rocks!!
Sam
Hey..
i met up with sam a few minutes ago...... i have missed him... and hes changed so much. my bike got a flat, so i had to seatie with jamie, then tom. becky and bex walked my bike. but they went to my house, and i was at the corner with sam, and he said if i go, hes going. then they sort of pushed me into it, and im really upset. i missed the one chance i had to tell him how i feel. i really like him. but, now i know he wont like me.
i wish he did.
i wish wishes came true.
i wish Dreams came true...
i wish, most of all, he would just let me tell him. everytime i go near the subject, he changes it. he doesnt want to know. he doesnt want to tell me he likes someone else.
im so fucking stupid.
i hate life. i hate everything in it. i wish life would stop. then i could stop worrying about this an that, and wether he likes me or not.
connor just signed in...
i keep asking him who he fancies... i think its chelsea and beff, but i cant be sure...
oh well, he'll tell me when hes ready. i guess.
i wish he trusted me enough to tell me.
nobody ever opens up to me. it sucks....
i used to take peoples pain for them, like briony. i love her, shes my best friend ever, and always will be, but shes moved to scotland. i miss her soooo much.
I think i Want To Die.
I Think We All Have The Time Set Out, And Planned For Us,
i hope we dont...
i like to be in control, know what i mean??
im angry at bex and becky... but i know its not their fault, for ruining this chance. its mine.
I guess i just need someone, anyone to blame.
its Simons birthday today.
I hope he rots in hell.
Bye. i might write later...
x
ps, i can now touch type!!!!!
i met up with sam a few minutes ago...... i have missed him... and hes changed so much. my bike got a flat, so i had to seatie with jamie, then tom. becky and bex walked my bike. but they went to my house, and i was at the corner with sam, and he said if i go, hes going. then they sort of pushed me into it, and im really upset. i missed the one chance i had to tell him how i feel. i really like him. but, now i know he wont like me.
i wish he did.
i wish wishes came true.
i wish Dreams came true...
i wish, most of all, he would just let me tell him. everytime i go near the subject, he changes it. he doesnt want to know. he doesnt want to tell me he likes someone else.
im so fucking stupid.
i hate life. i hate everything in it. i wish life would stop. then i could stop worrying about this an that, and wether he likes me or not.
connor just signed in...
i keep asking him who he fancies... i think its chelsea and beff, but i cant be sure...
oh well, he'll tell me when hes ready. i guess.
i wish he trusted me enough to tell me.
nobody ever opens up to me. it sucks....
i used to take peoples pain for them, like briony. i love her, shes my best friend ever, and always will be, but shes moved to scotland. i miss her soooo much.
I think i Want To Die.
I Think We All Have The Time Set Out, And Planned For Us,
i hope we dont...
i like to be in control, know what i mean??
im angry at bex and becky... but i know its not their fault, for ruining this chance. its mine.
I guess i just need someone, anyone to blame.
its Simons birthday today.
I hope he rots in hell.
Bye. i might write later...
x
ps, i can now touch type!!!!!
Wednesday 2 May 2007
My world. run while you can.
Im still Home Alone...
i was reading beckys blog... she listed all the bad things... i think ill list mine.
ok, when i was 8, my mum got married, and moved to the country side, with me.
the thing she got married to was a bastard. his name was simon.
6 years of argueing, and we reach 2006, november. its warm for winter. im isalated in the country.
i Hate simon.
he was always mean to me.
the, on a sunday, its 6 am. i hear screaming. i hear my mum say 'no simon please, stop it'. my heart pounding, anger exploding in my hear i rench myslf from bed, imediatly awake.
i think hes hurting her. im ready, to hurt to kill, anything to protect my mum. hes not hurting her. he is grabbing everything of mine, and hers, he can find and throwing them out windows, and the front door, onto the driveway. he wants us out Now. i scream, i cry, i run out, grab my mums clothes, i pull them inside. i hold my mum, shes crying, screaming at him to Stop.
he goes upstairs. i follow. he goes into his and mums room. i run in, and slam the door. me and him. then im hitting him and kicking him. i screaming. but hes stronger. and just carries on.
hes trying to throw things out the window, but it wont open. he heads for the door. i get there first. i leaning against it. he wont get out. i can hear my mum, shouting for me to open the door. i cant let him out. i dont care if i die holding this door. he wont get to my mum. ever. the next thing i know, im on the floor, the doors open. hes trying to get things out the window. i crying, im shaking. he stops. he gets in the car. he rings everyone he knows, telling them my mums a stupid lying cow. i want to kill him. i pick up our things, from the front, mum gets the stuff out the back.
the next two weeks, are hell. he does everything to make our lives hell. he threatens to throw my chinchilla, marzipan out. i scream at him. telling him i hate him.
that changed everything. those few weeks.. i hate life, i hate myself. i want to die. but most of all, i want simon to stop seeing my mum. thats right, she has agreed to see him. and that makes me feel worse. everyday.
im crying. its like a fresh wound still, i try to put it from my mind, but i dream about it every night, its more of a nightmare really.
im going to go now. Becky if you read this.. well.
Bye x
i was reading beckys blog... she listed all the bad things... i think ill list mine.
ok, when i was 8, my mum got married, and moved to the country side, with me.
the thing she got married to was a bastard. his name was simon.
6 years of argueing, and we reach 2006, november. its warm for winter. im isalated in the country.
i Hate simon.
he was always mean to me.
the, on a sunday, its 6 am. i hear screaming. i hear my mum say 'no simon please, stop it'. my heart pounding, anger exploding in my hear i rench myslf from bed, imediatly awake.
i think hes hurting her. im ready, to hurt to kill, anything to protect my mum. hes not hurting her. he is grabbing everything of mine, and hers, he can find and throwing them out windows, and the front door, onto the driveway. he wants us out Now. i scream, i cry, i run out, grab my mums clothes, i pull them inside. i hold my mum, shes crying, screaming at him to Stop.
he goes upstairs. i follow. he goes into his and mums room. i run in, and slam the door. me and him. then im hitting him and kicking him. i screaming. but hes stronger. and just carries on.
hes trying to throw things out the window, but it wont open. he heads for the door. i get there first. i leaning against it. he wont get out. i can hear my mum, shouting for me to open the door. i cant let him out. i dont care if i die holding this door. he wont get to my mum. ever. the next thing i know, im on the floor, the doors open. hes trying to get things out the window. i crying, im shaking. he stops. he gets in the car. he rings everyone he knows, telling them my mums a stupid lying cow. i want to kill him. i pick up our things, from the front, mum gets the stuff out the back.
the next two weeks, are hell. he does everything to make our lives hell. he threatens to throw my chinchilla, marzipan out. i scream at him. telling him i hate him.
that changed everything. those few weeks.. i hate life, i hate myself. i want to die. but most of all, i want simon to stop seeing my mum. thats right, she has agreed to see him. and that makes me feel worse. everyday.
im crying. its like a fresh wound still, i try to put it from my mind, but i dream about it every night, its more of a nightmare really.
im going to go now. Becky if you read this.. well.
Bye x
Home alone!!
Well, you may have established from the title, im HOME ALONE... unimpressed?? well, this means i have gained the trust and am aloud to cook again!! last time, i set fire to the house....
lol
well, life is ok... connor bit my shoulder, that hurt... lol....
i had an intresting conversation with leanne.. she likes 3 guys!! unbuhleavabubble!!
she likes, luke, connor and TOM... of all people... i thought i liked him, but now i get it!
its the amazing friendship we have!!
YAY!!
im not sure who i like, at the momento... i think sam, but im just not sure, because i know he likes hayley... i might put another song in...
those lines indicate the time it took for me to realise.. i still like sam.
oh dear... but, there is the possible... he might not like hayley.. last time i asked, he said he liked NO-ONE.. then, with my charm, i could get him to like me again????
yeah... right.
dear god, or whoever, if your out there, please, tomorrow, when i meet up with him PLEASE let him realise im his one true love??
whatever..
but, when i asked him if the prom was in two weeks who would he ask to go with him, he said me....
grr, i wish he was easier to understand, or could just see i like him again... keeping all of this inside is hard... anyway, heres that song i promised:
My hearts been broken so many times, i just want it to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep,
So, you me, we were supposed to be, but all ur saw was her in the background,
I wish u could have seen thru that, to our love, cuz I did,
You see her in the back ground, just cant help urself, I want to know, y…
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep…
So, you me, I wanted you to c, that I loved you more, than you loved mee,
I see him in the background, just cant help myself, you want to know y…
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep…
But, the difference between you and me, is
I see him in the back ground, I say hi, he comes over, I smile for a while, then I flutter, my black lashes, and I say, sorry mate, but im gonna have to walk away, , but you, she comes over, you say hi, u wanna say goodbye, but youu don’t u cant u want this so bad, you got a great girl, but maybe she wont last,
So, you me, we were supposed to be, but all ur saw was her in the background,
I wish u could have seen thru that, to our love, cuz I did,
You see her in the back ground, just cant help urself, I want to know, y…
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep
Just wanna go in my sleep, because, I walked away, and u just cudnt, and now I c, that’s y u dumped meee,
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep
Given the chance, id have said goodbye, the moment you walked byy.
Sorry. Well that’s just noot enough! I think you’ve sed enough!
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep
Im done.
again, not very good... but they mean something to me... i think ill start putting a song/poem/saying in everytime i leave a blog... im so BORED... tom is bugging me. again. wish he would just leave me alone...
sometimes, i think i should be writing a blog like becky, but... i dont know. i guess, yesturday i used her as an offload, and now, well... im all offloaded...
my life and self esteem will be down by tomorrow, ill write then....
Byeee x
ps, i wish john would stop slapping my arse-he has a girlfriend!!
pps i wish lucy would just die. and becky myhill... and pippa i hate them ALL.
Bye... again x
lol
well, life is ok... connor bit my shoulder, that hurt... lol....
i had an intresting conversation with leanne.. she likes 3 guys!! unbuhleavabubble!!
she likes, luke, connor and TOM... of all people... i thought i liked him, but now i get it!
its the amazing friendship we have!!
YAY!!
im not sure who i like, at the momento... i think sam, but im just not sure, because i know he likes hayley... i might put another song in...
those lines indicate the time it took for me to realise.. i still like sam.
oh dear... but, there is the possible... he might not like hayley.. last time i asked, he said he liked NO-ONE.. then, with my charm, i could get him to like me again????
yeah... right.
dear god, or whoever, if your out there, please, tomorrow, when i meet up with him PLEASE let him realise im his one true love??
whatever..
but, when i asked him if the prom was in two weeks who would he ask to go with him, he said me....
grr, i wish he was easier to understand, or could just see i like him again... keeping all of this inside is hard... anyway, heres that song i promised:
My hearts been broken so many times, i just want it to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep,
So, you me, we were supposed to be, but all ur saw was her in the background,
I wish u could have seen thru that, to our love, cuz I did,
You see her in the back ground, just cant help urself, I want to know, y…
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep…
So, you me, I wanted you to c, that I loved you more, than you loved mee,
I see him in the background, just cant help myself, you want to know y…
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep…
But, the difference between you and me, is
I see him in the back ground, I say hi, he comes over, I smile for a while, then I flutter, my black lashes, and I say, sorry mate, but im gonna have to walk away, , but you, she comes over, you say hi, u wanna say goodbye, but youu don’t u cant u want this so bad, you got a great girl, but maybe she wont last,
So, you me, we were supposed to be, but all ur saw was her in the background,
I wish u could have seen thru that, to our love, cuz I did,
You see her in the back ground, just cant help urself, I want to know, y…
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep
Just wanna go in my sleep, because, I walked away, and u just cudnt, and now I c, that’s y u dumped meee,
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep
Given the chance, id have said goodbye, the moment you walked byy.
Sorry. Well that’s just noot enough! I think you’ve sed enough!
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep
My hearts been broken so many times, I just want to stop, quit the beating, stop my breathing, and let me go in my sleep
Im done.
again, not very good... but they mean something to me... i think ill start putting a song/poem/saying in everytime i leave a blog... im so BORED... tom is bugging me. again. wish he would just leave me alone...
sometimes, i think i should be writing a blog like becky, but... i dont know. i guess, yesturday i used her as an offload, and now, well... im all offloaded...
my life and self esteem will be down by tomorrow, ill write then....
Byeee x
ps, i wish john would stop slapping my arse-he has a girlfriend!!
pps i wish lucy would just die. and becky myhill... and pippa i hate them ALL.
Bye... again x
Tuesday 1 May 2007
Love
weird subject -i know-.
i wonder if everybody feels true love??
i am.. i think. but, i guess, as they dont love me back i cant realy be sure.
i know... in love... im in highschool for gods sake... how can i be in love?
i think sove is a weakness... i hate to let people in. i wish.... i wish i could love, from afar.
i have a theory.... i wont say it now.. im a bit tired, and i have to get my chinchilla out, but... i think its full proof!!!
im in love...
but i know who he loves....
not me....
i write songs... i think ill copy one onto here....::
eeek, see, her, with the flowers in her hair, just look, look at the happiness thats
falling everywhere. you run, you shout, "what a waste" you reach out to catch it, nearly, Ahh, calmness, happiness, death... you wake up, and wish to fall asleep forever, your just not sure why, and although she may be you, shes just that little bit better.
behind this plastic face. i wake up put on a smile step out the door feel fine for a while, but right now its getting late, im lashing out, just wanna curse fate. And you see, this is me, this Is me, this is what yoo wanna seee, no? didn’t think so. So, walk away. Go back into her arms, just leave me alone… I need some time. You say to me, I love you, and ill be waiting, and ill be helping yoo outa this hell hole that ur in, so I can be with you again. But, I say, its no use, I love u 2, but I don’t c me escaping netime soon, the devils got me in his evil grasp, im his most hated sinner, and his prized possesion, I swore, I wudnt let myself sink down to this level again, but to late, and its all ur fault
its not very good... but im perfecting it!!
its my life in a beat, my nerves to the drum roll....
chow for now amigo
x
i wonder if everybody feels true love??
i am.. i think. but, i guess, as they dont love me back i cant realy be sure.
i know... in love... im in highschool for gods sake... how can i be in love?
i think sove is a weakness... i hate to let people in. i wish.... i wish i could love, from afar.
i have a theory.... i wont say it now.. im a bit tired, and i have to get my chinchilla out, but... i think its full proof!!!
im in love...
but i know who he loves....
not me....
i write songs... i think ill copy one onto here....::
eeek, see, her, with the flowers in her hair, just look, look at the happiness thats
falling everywhere. you run, you shout, "what a waste" you reach out to catch it, nearly, Ahh, calmness, happiness, death... you wake up, and wish to fall asleep forever, your just not sure why, and although she may be you, shes just that little bit better.
behind this plastic face. i wake up put on a smile step out the door feel fine for a while, but right now its getting late, im lashing out, just wanna curse fate. And you see, this is me, this Is me, this is what yoo wanna seee, no? didn’t think so. So, walk away. Go back into her arms, just leave me alone… I need some time. You say to me, I love you, and ill be waiting, and ill be helping yoo outa this hell hole that ur in, so I can be with you again. But, I say, its no use, I love u 2, but I don’t c me escaping netime soon, the devils got me in his evil grasp, im his most hated sinner, and his prized possesion, I swore, I wudnt let myself sink down to this level again, but to late, and its all ur fault
its not very good... but im perfecting it!!
its my life in a beat, my nerves to the drum roll....
chow for now amigo
x
I'm a blogger!!
Hey
this is the first time EVER i have made a blog... it feels weird...
ME:
my name is TicTac, and thats what im called.... i live in norwich... its a fun place... sometimes.. i have 2 brothers, a sister and a stepsister-im the youngest- my mum and stepdad are seperated, i cant say that im sorry.
i have a pretty tragic life, but thats all in the past... im an ongoing story writer, and im a teen!!
woo!!
i have friends, good ones, and not so good ones *cough*lucy*cough*
lol...
well, thats chow for now?! ill get back to you soon... oh, hi becky, by the way!!
this is the first time EVER i have made a blog... it feels weird...
ME:
my name is TicTac, and thats what im called.... i live in norwich... its a fun place... sometimes.. i have 2 brothers, a sister and a stepsister-im the youngest- my mum and stepdad are seperated, i cant say that im sorry.
i have a pretty tragic life, but thats all in the past... im an ongoing story writer, and im a teen!!
woo!!
i have friends, good ones, and not so good ones *cough*lucy*cough*
lol...
well, thats chow for now?! ill get back to you soon... oh, hi becky, by the way!!
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